Be a light unto urself..

The Dhammapada , vol 12
Question 8

BELOVED MASTER,
WHY DOES THE BUDDHA ALWAYS SAY: BE A LIGHT UNTO YOURSELF?

Paritosho, simple. Buddha says: Be a light unto yourself, because you cannot trust Indian electricity.
In fact, you cannot trust anything made in India.

What is the difference between an American computer and an Indian one?
The American computer has a memory; the Indian one has a vague remembrance.

How many Polacks does it take to put in a light bulb?
Four -- one to hold the bulb and three to spin him around.

How many Jews does it take to put in a light bulb?
Three -- one to put it in and two to supervise.

How many Californians does it take to put in a light bulb?
Four -- one to put it in and three to share the experience.

How many Italians does it take to put in a light bulb?
About sixteen -- one to give the orders, one to handle the money, one to get the bulb, one to tell the rickshaw driver where to go, one to clean up the broken glass, one to translate, three to carry the ladder, one to check the switch, one to shoo away the beggars, four to entertain you while you wait two or three minutes, two or three minutes, two or three minutes... etcetera.

And how many Indians it takes to change a light bulb?
Two hundred --
one to hold the bulb...
and one hundred and ninety-nine to turn the house around!